I was recently reading an article about people’s most romantically awkward encounters, which got me to thinking about the fact that I have enough romantically awkward encounters to write my own article. So,
I’m Amanda, I’m Romantically Awkward, and This is my Story.
It all started in the third grade when Kyle Purdue (shout out to Kyle) put a heart on my Headwig Valentine and then told the entire class that I was his girlfriend. I went home and cried in my room for what had to be close to three hours, refusing to tell my mom what was wrong. Kyle smelled a bit like salami and often took his shirt off in the middle of class and started screaming, so naturally, he would be the first little boy to have a crush on me.
This was the moment that seemed to define the rest of my love life-or more appropriately put- a series of awkward, sometimes romantic, encounters.
I am a generally awkward person, and I am not great at social situations, but when it came to men……. It was another level or social incompetence.
Disclaimer: I am actually in a super loving relationship now. Turns out there is really someone for everyone. Even me 🙂
After that third grade nightmare, I took a three year hiatus from men. I would like to say that this was by choice, but it was really because I was just terribly ugly and a generally weird child.
My next romantic encounter was in the sixth grade with a boy from church that I had a crush on. It was almost creepy how much I knew about him prior to social media stalking days. Anyway, as any 12 year old would, I waited until the week I was moving 15 hours away to say that I liked him. This was a huge deal, because it turned out that he liked me too. You would think that this would shape up to be the best week of my life, but instead of embracing my 12 year old fate, I just avoided him for the entire week before I left, and then on the last night we were together (disclaimer: at a church activity) I gave him the first and last hug I ever would. It was then….. that he gave me a yu-gi-o trading card that he got in his burger king kids meal, and I was so in love.
I moved to Tennessee the next day and got over him very quickly.
Fast Forward to the eighth grade and my first official boyfriend. We were VERY official. I met him at…. you guessed it…. church! The beginnings of our relationship were as normal as all 14 year old relationships were. I was taller than him (and most boys), and we avoided each other at all costs and communicated our feelings only through a mutual friend. After several months of communication, we finally got together (over text message). At this point, you may be thinking, none of this sounds awkward. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! So, it was time for the annual summer fair to come to town. All the coolest kids went, so of course I was going, and he was meeting me there. All was going well. We were hanging out, and having some laughs. Everything was fine… until the walk home. I had never held hands with anyone but my mom before, so you can imagine the sinking feeling in my stomach when he tried to grab mine. We were leading the pack of friends, so I knew everyone was watching and that I had to play it cool. So naturally, my body language did everything but that. I freaked the F out. I guess he was trying to intertwine our fingers or something (my mom never tried that, so I was really going into this blindly), but I did NOT know what to do. So I just kept moving my hand out of his reach….. but it wasn’t working! I guess he thought I was trying to situate my hand.. so our sweaty ass hands just kept trying making these awkward gestures until he finally just grabbed my hand like my mom would have. I knew everyone saw. I was mortified.
Good thing I was moving another 13 hours away the next week! As you can see, my timing was always amazing, and I have truly always been the master of avoiding confrontation.
Within my first month or so in Florida, I went to a church dance where exactly one boy offered to dance with me. This was shocking to me as i was not AS ugly as I once was. He wasn’t the best looking kid I’d ever seen, but I was just standing there on the dance floor watching everyone else have fun, so I thought, why not? While we were dancing, he started telling me how pretty I was. I was flattered since boys hadn’t usually expressed their feelings to me…. mostly because my avoidance of all confrontation didn’t usually allow them the chance to. The dance was going pretty well, and he was actually a nice guy. Not a looker, but nice! At the end of the dance, he looks me straight in the eyes and says, “I know who you look like. The girl from Max Keeble’s Big Move!”. If you’ve never had the pleasure of seeing this Disney Channel Original, here is a picture of this beauty for reference.
Long story short, my high school confidence began and ended there. I didn’t give up just yet though! I had two boyfriends over the course of the four years of high school, so you would think I would have mastered the art of dating. Think again!
Fast Forward to college. The summer before my senior year. I was 21 years old and at my favorite country bar. I am just chilling on the side of the dance floor with my new roommate, who was totally adorable, when a man approaches us (queue the awkward). I try to escape, but its too late- my overly friendly roommate is already having a conversation with him! He continues to flirt with her, telling her how pretty she is. The conversation ends with him asking her to slow dance with him. She politely declines. He then turns to me (great) looks me up and down with a semi-satisfied but mostly disappointed look on his face and says, “well, in that case, would you like to dance then?”. I also politely decline, although I had some words for him that went unsaid.
Fast forward to later that night, which would eventually be the most life changing night of my life. I’m still at the bar and still with my roommate. (Side Note: This was a line dancing bar) She is out on the dance floor tearing it up with her natural rhythmic and dancing talent, while I watch and struggle trying to follow. My horrible dancing leads me to bump into someone. I look up and its a man (*gasp*) Luckily, he tells me its okay, and shows me how to dance. Later that night, Mr. Mysterious dancer finds me again while I am standing with my roommate on the sidelines. He asks if I want to dance. Why is this awkward you may ask? Well, I thought he was asking my roommate to dance (can you blame me, after the first encounter?) This made it awkward for everyone, as he had to explain that he was asking me to dance…..
Still confused and I little drunk, I accepted.
Charlie is now my boyfriend. We live together with our dog, two cats, and bunny.
There is someone for everyone. And I found him. How fitting that it was through an awkward encounter.
What are your most awkward romantic encounters? I’d love to hear them.
Until next time,